Just finished my second month of Clomid. Let's just say I feel
extra hormonal and a little crazy.
extra hormonal and a little crazy.
This is something we have just started recently sharing openly. I have been private about it for many reasons-I'm afraid of crying every time I talk about it, I get nervous about what people will say and think. Not sure why I care. Also I think if I don't admit it out loud it isn't true. Sometimes I think it is more of a timing issue and something I just need to be patient about.
I was told when I was 14 I would have a hard time getting pregnant but at 14 that was the last thing I was thinking about. Now I have been thinking about it. Thinking what I should have done to make myself more fertile. What I need to do now? Sometime I feel like I am being punished but I know that isn't true.
I just keep telling myself it will happen when it happens. Timing is essential in our Heavenly Father's plan and I truly have a testimony of this principle but sometime it is hard to have patience for thing I want.
I feel like I put this big secret out in the open.
"I am Rebecca and I struggle with infertility."
"I am Rebecca and I struggle with infertility."
I want to give you a big hug right now!!! I wish I could do more for you, but know I'm thinking about you!!!
ReplyDeleteI will tell you i totally understand what you are going threw. I cried and all the above after 12 yrs of nothing. I put it all in heavenly fathers hands, and said whatever his will be for me. I even excepted that i would never get to be a mother, i would just enjoy my nieces and nephews and love the primary children i taught. I met Kasey(second marriage)(it being me w my PCOS) and thought here i am again, nothing. It did happen just not in my time, Heavenly Fathers time.I learned so much threw my journey. I wanted 5 children i know i won't be able to have 5 children being 36 now. I also learned it doesn't matter how my children come to me, even if i have to adopt(its about an eternal family, so if we have to adopt to have more than we will) But it is still hard. I am always here for a shoulder to cry on. You will get to be a mom someday! Smile!
ReplyDeleteI can't say I've ever worried about fertility, but I completely understand putting things in Heavenly Father's hands. I have always told my husband that because we get pregnant fairly easily and can carry a baby without issues (minus my one miscarriage and terrible morning sickness with both my girls), I will always plan my children with care. I will not get pregnant on a whim, because "I can" or because its easy. I will respect those who are struggling with pregnancy/infertility by being grateful for every opportunity I have to procreate regardless of circumstances. I hope you see your patience pay off soon!
ReplyDeleteI am going through the same thing right now. It sucks watching so many other people out there get pregnant on a whim when you do everything perfectly and still can't seem to get the positive when you pee. I guess all we can do is keep trying and know that our turn will come through whatever means Heavenly Father sees fit to use. That doesn't make it suck any less, but it does give one hope!
ReplyDeleteWe love you lady! I think you're such an incredible person and such a good mom to Keaton (spelling?)! We're always grateful for your help with Jayna and she loves spending time with you. We always know we can trust you and know that you will get the opportunity to have your own someday. I pray for you all the time :).
ReplyDeleteI hope you will find the joy you desire. I know I don't understand this trial, but you are in my prayers and I am always around to craft and talk whenever you want.
ReplyDeleteYou and I have something in common...we don't like to share personal things. I never knew this about you until you mentioned it on here and I totally get it. You know that my sister has major infertility issues and cannot have children. The kids she has adopted were always her children and were always meant to be hers, they just got to her in a different way. My point in saying this is not to tell you to run out and adopt a baby. It's just to re-affirm what you already said. Faith in His timing...and His ways. You and Cody are an outstanding couple and you will be blessed. We love you guys.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to clarify, I don't get the infertility issue (I won't pretend that I do) but I get the part about being private about personal things. Thank you for sharing though. I feel like I know you that much better. :)
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