Sunday, March 24, 2013

Infertility or Timing

Just finished my second month of Clomid. Let's just say I feel
extra hormonal and a little crazy.

This is something we have just started recently sharing openly. I have been private about it for many reasons-I'm afraid of crying every time I talk about it, I get nervous about what people will say and think. Not sure why I care. Also I think if I don't admit it out loud it isn't true. Sometimes I think it is more of a timing issue and something I just need to be patient about.

I was told when I was 14 I would have a hard time getting pregnant but at 14 that was the last thing I was thinking about. Now I have been thinking about it. Thinking what I should have done to make myself more fertile. What I need to do now? Sometime I feel like I am being punished but I know that isn't true. 

I just keep telling myself it will happen when it happens. Timing is essential in our Heavenly Father's plan and I truly have a testimony of this principle but sometime it is hard to have patience for thing I want. 

I feel like I put this big secret out in the open.

 "I am Rebecca and I struggle with infertility." 

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Opening Up

I have not been doing that great with my New Years resolutions. I am working at them but have been side tracked many time. I am going to start a all girls bunco night. I'm excited for this. I was making cards today and realized I miss all the parties I use to throw during college. My friends and coworker and I use to have cookie exchanges, salad exchanges and Pampered Chef parties. I miss that. Who is to say I cant do it now. Last month I participated in and FHE exchange. We now have 2 months of FHE lessons. 

February was a busy month at work. We also got an acceptance letter on a house we have been waiting on since October. We found out our offer was excepted on Monday and on Tuesday we learned that a pipe had frozen and then burst flooding the master bedroom and the family room. Two weeks later we withdrew the offer....sad...Cody an I both feel that everything happens for a reason. We had made a decision, moved forward with faith and then were forced to make the course correction when needed.

I find that once again I get to learn to Trust the Lord and Trust his timing. Apparently this is a life lesson I will be learning over and over again.